Can't Let You Go
by crazygirl18
Summary: Natsume has done something and doesn't know if he should let go or not.
1. Chapter 1: Can't Let You Go

_Ok I haven't been writing for a long while so please forgive me if the story isn't that good enough for you. Its OOC, But at least I tried to make the story good. _

_It's a songfic but with 2 parts. Natsume and Mikan's._

_I hope its ok for you guys. Enjoy!_

_The songs that I used is from Rascal Flatts: **What Hurts the Most** and Alison Krauss: **When You Say Nothing at All** _

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **Can't Let You Go**

**POV: Natsume**

_**I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while  
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok  
But that's not what gets me  
**_

It was late at night. Everyone was tucked into their little comfortable beds. He had no idea on how long he stayed there. Just sitting down, watching, observing and remembering the days he spent at the academy. The nights he spent and almost died whenever he went out on missions for the academy. Somehow, he knew he would miss the school, because everyone knew that tonight would be the last night they would be staying at the academy.

Tomorrow would be graduation day. The day where everyone says their goodbyes and start their own future.

He didn't care on what the future would hold for him. All he knew was that there would be one person who he would never forget.

"that stupid girl"

He couldn't help but smirk.

Mikan

Who would ever thought in anyone's wildest imagination that he would actually like… no… he shook his head. Not **_like_**…but **_fell_** for a girl like her. A girl like her.

Natsume sighed. Mikan, the clumsiest, nosiest, unladylike person he ever meet… but the only person he knew who would never give up when everyone else has. A never ending smile. Innocent. Forgiving…protects everyone she loves no mater what the consequence is…something he didn't deserve to have… that's why he had to let her go.

_**What hurts the most  
Was being so close**_

He punched the ground hard.

He had to do it! He looked at what damaged he had done to his fist. Nothing much, just a tiny scratch… with some blood…but if she was with him, she'd go wild on worrying about him, even if it was a tiny scratch.

_**Flashbacks **_

_**He had just finished a mission for the academy, and somehow he wasn't able to doge an attack, thus he got cut slightly on his side near the stomach.**_

_**"Natsume!" **_

_**"Baka! What are you doing up late at night? You should be sleeping" as he tried to walk past her.**_

_**"Shut up Natsume! Its so obvious that you have a wound. That's why I brought some first aid kit!" as she showed him the box with pride.**_

_**They sat down for awhile and she started to dress up his wounds. He looked at her and saw that she was dead serious with his wound. He lean backed and closed his eyes. After a few minutes suddenly he felt something wet. There it goes again. Was it drizzling? He opened his eyes and saw that the sky was shimmering with stars so it was impossible that it was raindrops. He looked down at Mikan. She was finally done. But she was just silent. Looking at her creation. The bandage that she done.**_

_**"Nani? Its not a big deal. Im glad that when it comes to bandaging a person your not clumsy unlike yesterday when you slipped down—" I wasn't able to finish my sentence, because Mikan suddenly embraced me and the water that I felt was from her tears. **_

_**"Baka! Baka! Baka! Natsume" She pounded her fist towards my chest. It wasn't hard. "Baka! Baka! Baka!.. I don't know what I'll do with out you Natsume" She then went perfectly still. I embraced her…hard.**_

_**"Im sorry for scaring you…but you know I have to do this. Please don't cry. And stop hugging me it hurts!"**_

_**She suddenly let go of me. Smiled.**_

_**"Just be careful next time!" She got up on her feet, took her medicine box and started walking back to school and up to her dorm, which I would always make sure every night before I go to bed that she's safe in her room. I saw her open her door and started to head towards my room.**_

_**"Natsume…"**_

_**It was just a whisper, but I heard her. I didn't look back but I just stopped.**_

_**"what is it baka"**_

_**"sometimes I just wonder how we lasted 3 years, you being my boyfriend"**_

_**I turned around to look at her. She was smiling. I smiled back at her.**_

_**"Go to bed Mikan."**_

_**End flashback**_

Those were the moments he would treasure. Moments when they were arguing, talking, hanging out or just sitting down at this spot. Not talking at all. She was the only girl where he felt comfortable. Where he felt safe. But he had to protect her.

_**And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was tryin' to do**_

He heard some sounds close by, so he got up and hide for awhile to see who was approaching. It only took a few seconds to find out.

"Mikan"

He watched her very moments. She was alone. She was heading to their tree. The tree that witnessed every fight they had, laughter's, tears and sorrow. She just stood there. Looking.

He never understood why… why he would fall for her and why that his decision made him feel like he wanted to jump out of this very spot and tell her that he never ment what he said.

"Why…why Natsume?" with that she ran away.

_**Flashback**_

_**"Why Natsume?? What did I do wrong?"**_

_**"Baka, can't you see, I thought I loved you but I was wrong. I finally realized that Ruka was just spending time with you and I felt jealous that he would no longer be my friend."**_

_**"Your lying!! Your never good at lying Natsume!"**_

_**"Whatever. Its true. Ruka was always by my side before you came into the picture. Now I understand. Sure I had fun with you even though your so clumsy and forgetful. But now, I'm just bored. So get a life baka, cause your sure annoying me."**_

_**"baka! Baka! Baka! Your just going to throw away our 3 years –"**_

_**"Oh you mean its been 3 years?? Gosh I felt as if it was just a normal day with you. Like hell week"**_

_**"…I see…so it was nothing to you…everything was useless…"**_

_**"something like that"**_

_**"goodbye…I hate you Natsume"**_

_**End flashback**_

He would never forget that moment. The moment where he broke her heart. He hated everything he said that night. He wanted to run after her when he heard her say those final words. He wanted so much to say to her. The truth, but he just couldn't.

_**It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doin' It  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
Still Harder  
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken  
**_

He left the place where he was hiding and went to the spot where Mikan stood. Since that fateful night 3 months ago, both of them have been trying to avoid each other. Even the whole school knew that never to mention their names. Sure they have classes together, but he knew she was trying to avoid looking at him. But one thing he knew… Hotaru was mad at him. She made sure that as Mikan's bestfriend, if Mikan did not want to go on hate mode with him, she would take over. She would never hesitate to take her bazooka gun and aim it at him. He even got the bruises for proff. But deserved it. For hurting Mikan. He wished that it was Mikan doing it, but she didn't… everyone hated me because Mikan changed. She was more silent. She smiled little. She went out rarely. Everyone was worried about her. And that made him want to shake her madly and ask her what the goddamn do you think your doing? Changing! But he eventually was able to stop himself when he saw Ruka approach her.

Since that day, Mikan started to slowly become her usual self. She started to date. And that ticked him off. BADLY.

He wanted to blow up and destroy every person she went out with. He felt that none of them was worth having her!

_**Flashbacks**_

_**"Natsume…"**_

_**"Nani?"**_

_**"They guy that…he was sent to the hospital because of severe burns."**_

_**"Ruka, maybe he got sunburned or he has sensitive skin"**_

_**"Its snowing…"**_

_**"Well there's your answer Ruka, he didn't know how to light up his own chimney… besides his in college and is to old for her and –"**_

_**"its not up to you who she deserves to be with…"**_

_**"What do you mean?"**_

_**"Natsume…you know who she belongs too."**_

_**End flashback**_

She belongs to me.

He looks from afar and sees that there is still one room that has light. Mikan's...

Was he really going to waste everything he had.

Was he just going to give up and let go of her?

_**What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do**_

This is why he didn't want someone to care about.

This is why he wanted no one in his life.

Natsume started to walk.

This is why I loved being alone.

He started to walk a little faster.

This is why he never showed his true self to anyone.

His walk started to become a jog.

Because…

Because….

because….

His jog became running.

The truth was…

He couldn't let her go…

_**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**_

_There. Done with the first part. Hope you enjoyed it. Now im off to do Mikan's POV. There it would find out why Natsume had to leave her… and of course how the story ends. pls review. Ohh, flamers are allowed. Helps me know what to fix. Criticism is ok, but pls pls not to harsh. Thank you._


	2. Chapter 2: Falling for you hurts

_Ok.. here's the other chap!_

_Thanks for the people who reviewed me. I really really appreciate it!_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chapter 2: Falling for you…Hurts**

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_**It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart**_

_**Without saying a word you can light up the dark**_

_**Try as I may I could never explain**_

_**What I hear when you don't say a thing**_

**POV: Mikan**

Oh my…finally im done. I finally put everything away. Let me see… I wonder if left anything else in the room… hmmm…yes, I put away my clothes, my hairpins, accessories, underwear, bags, shoes, presents that my friends gave me… lets see… im forgetting something… I know I am… but what could it be…

Hmmm…then it hit her! Her collection of pictures!

She went straight to her closest and reached the spot where she hid them.

'ok Mikan, just a little more to the right…that's it… you can get it… a little more ahhhhh!! She lost her balanced and the pictures scattered everywhere.

"Ouch, I thought I only put pictures there… what hit me then." I looked around to find the culprit…and wished that I didn't. There it was. On the middle of the floor. A silver necklace with a ring on it. A simple ring, with a simple stone but with valuable memories worth more than anything she had right now.

Natsume's gift to her.

"Stop it Mikan! Stop your tears! His not worth it." I turned my back from the ring and started picking up the scattered pictures. For a moment the pain that she felt vanished. Finally she'll be graduating from the academy. She never thought that when she would enter the academy she would meet a lot of friends. All she knew was that she wanted to be with her best friend Hotaru. She smiled. Everything she had planned turned out to be different…

"Oh Hotaru, thank you for everything. It would be really weird now that I know we would be parting ways…since you and I would be studying in different colleges."

Oh well, got to finish up my mess. Hey I left a picture underneath the bed… lets see what picture that would be…

The only picture of Natsume and her together.

This time…she could not help but cry…Natsume why??? Why???

I went towards the necklace. Held it for awhile. We were happy right?

If I only knew…knew ahead of time that you would hurt me… I would have never loved you.

You who from the very beginning always teased me, humiliated me, made sure that I would embarrassed myself, make me feel like a stupid idiot…

But…

You were always the one who looked after me. Made sure that no one would hurt me. That you were always there when I was in trouble…

And because of that… I fell for you…

You were never vocal about yourself…

but when you finally admit your feelings…

I knew you ment it for a lifetime.

_**Flashback**_

**"**_Natsume, why are you alone again?"_

"_Stupid girl, don't you know when to leave me alone?" _

"_My name is M-I-K-A-N! Mikan! Is is so hard for you to say it?!!"_

"_I'd rather prefer Stupid girl and polka-dot panty girl"_

"_Arrrgghh!! PERVERT!!!" as she tried to hit Natsume with a club that came out from nowhere._

"_Watch out queen of clumsiness, you might destroy your precious gown."_

"_Yeah right as if you care! Anyways, if you feel like joining us –"_

"_Yeah yeah yeah… your like a recording machine, its so annoying"_

"_Well get used to it!! Your going to hear me for 4 more years baka" as she started to walk away with a big huff._

"_Why?" _

_Mikan stopped walking. "What do you mean?"_

"_Why do you keep coming back… no matter how many times I push you away?"_

_Both of them were silent. Mikan didn't dare to look at Natsume, fearing that he was just fooling around. When deep inside she knew the question was important to both of them._

"_Why won't you just leave me alone…"_

_Mikan turned around to face him._

"_Because no matter how many times you try to push me away… I know you want me to stay." While saying this tears were forming in her eyes._

"_Everyone says to stay away from you… but im not them. Im not everyone. For some reason whenever I am with you, I feel safe."_

"_You don't know what your-"_

"_Talking about? Ever since I found out that Im starting to fall for you… I myself keep on asking myself what is it that made me fall for you" this time tears where falling from her eyes._

"_I hate it when you try to push all your friends away. I hate it when you think you should be alone. I hate it when you think your never going to get hurt. I hate it when you seem oblivious when your friends worry about you!"_

_All of a sudden Natsume was by her side hugging her. This time she just broke down and cried._

"_Natsume…why are you running away?"_

_Natsume went still. No one understood him like Mikan._

"_Baka…because I don't want to hurt anyone…even you…"_

_Mikan left his embrace. She didn't care anymore. Honesty was needed here._

"_baka! Baka! Baka! You are so stupid Natsume! Can't you see the more you distant yourself from us the more pain you give us."_

_Natsume's head was down. "Its better to do it now than later when its hard to let go." This time Natsume looked at her. "Cant you see! The more I get attached to all of you guys the more trouble it would cause you. I don't want anyone to get hurt… most especially you."_

_Mikan finally understood him. He was scared to trust. Scared to believe. Scared to give into emotions…_

_Natsume started to leave and leave her again…like before… but this time she wouldn't. As he passed her, she said it._

"_Natsume…"_

_He just kept on going… until…_

"_Natsume…I.."_

_He kept walking._

"_I…"_

_He kept walking_

"_I.. I…"_

_And then… he stopped._

"_I love you Natsume… I don't want you to leave me… Every time I wake up, I just cant help myself but think about you. What would make you smile today…what can I do to make you smile… I don't care about your past… or what you are… all I know is that your Natsume, the one who will always be there for me no matter what happens."_

_With that said, Mikan just cried once more because she knew that a guy like Natsume would not be able to fall for a girl like her or a –_

_Everything that she was thinking at that moment flew from her mind. Why?_

_Natsume kissed her…_

_After the kiss.._

"_You wanna dance?"_

_Mikan looked up. There was Natsume, looking down on her. He looked sincere. _

"_The waltz is playing… can I have the last dance?" Natsume looked at Mikan._

_Mikan smiled, brushing away her tears. She extended her hand towards him. It was just a simple dance, but to both of them it was much more._

"_Why don't you dance whenever the last dance starts to play?"_

_Mikan happy in the embraced of Natsume, looked up to him and simply said._

"_baka, I always wanted you to be my last dance" with that confession she laid her head down on his chest._

_She didn't see him smile._

_When the music was done, and both of them could hear their friends calling for her, she started to leave._

"_Are you coming?"_

_Natsume looked at her outstretched hands…he took it._

"_I love you too Mikan."_

_Mikan stopped walking, while Natsume kept on walking._

'_did he just say he loved me too???"_

"_Hey clumsy girl! Are you coming or what?!"_

_Mikan smiled._

"_Yeah, yeah, yeah!"_

_**End flashback**_

I smiled at that memory. Nothing changed since the confession. We still did what we always do. You still called me those annoying names.

She got the picture and the necklace and sat down on her bed.

_**The smile on your face lets me know that you need me**_

_**There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me**_

_**The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall**_

_**You say it best when you say nothing at all**_

But we both knew that a lot of things did change. You always made sure that I was in bed, even if you always scold me whenever I wait for you from the missions you do. You always try to make me not to worry about your safety.

_**Flashback**_

"_See your hurt again!! Urrrgggh… don't you know how to aim!!"_

"_You think that its an easy mission, woman?"_

_It was late at night, and both of them were at their favorite tree spot near the school. _

"_Hmmm. I bet if I was able to be put in your class, I'll be able to get more tough missions than yours" as she started to bandage his wounds._

"_Ouch!! That hurts… you join our class, I think the academy would disappear if it would be left in your hands-"_

_Waapaak!_

"_Ouch! That hurt! Where did you get that club!"_

"_Its an invention of Hotaru, it a bring-me-anywhere-club. It can shrink to small size." _

"_I knew that Hotaru was dangerous and ….. ouch!!! That hurt!" as Natsume rubbed his sore head._

"_Hotaru is my friend." _

"_Yeah yeah, whatever."_

_They both became quiet as Mikan tried to fix his bandages._

_A few minutes later._

"_There! Done! My Masterpiece! Well its late and -yawns- we have classes tomorrow so lets go to bed." Mikan got up from her spot, brushed away the dirt on her knees and started to head back to her room. _

"_Oh by the way be careful next time ok or else…"_

_Natsume looked at Mikan_

"_Or else what… as if it scares me."_

"_The boy that you always try to deny that you're not jealous off, I had dinner with him."_

_Mikan did not know that suddenly the temper of Natsume started to flow. Maybe because of her nullifying powers that's why she did not feel the heat coming from Natsume._

"_And I found the guy interesting…and also the other guy from the other class… and the other class…and—"_

"_your point?"_

_Natsume was starting to think of a plan how to eliminate them…_

"_If you don't be careful, I might fall for someone else" with a smile, she left him._

_Natsume couldn't help but feel jealousy and fear altogether. He couldn't even think of losing her._

_As Mikan entered her room and washed up a little she found a note._

_Sorry if I made you worry._

_I'll try to be careful next time_

_And…and…_

_Don't look for someone else._

_Natsume_

_She looked at the note and smiled. I could never find someone else who would be able to replace you. Goodnight Natsume._

_**End of flashback**_

We were happy Natsume! I never asked anything from you… but why did you have to leave me.

She looked at the picture. It was a picture of both of them playing in the snow. Hotaru captured that and sold it to her for 5 rabbits… yes what are friends are for. That moment, She knew that just for a few seconds in Natsume's life he was able to enjoy himself…and not to think about anything else to worry about. They were just having a fun snow fight. But the capture was worth every money she had that day. It was that same day when he gave the ring.

_**All day long I can hear people talking out loud**_

_**But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd**_

_**Old Mr. Webster could never define**_

_**What's being said between your heart and mine**_

She took the ring off the necklace and examined it, like every night when she would go to bed.

This was Natsume's first gift to her on their 3rd anniversary. Everyne was surprised that they lasted this long. Though they never showed to anyone that they were a couple, it was obvious that Mikan was Natsume's girlfriend. Because if there was any guy besides Ruka and his friends, they tend to start to have severe burns. Plus no one was allowed to make Mikan cry or they would never see the sun the next day. That was how unvocal there relationship was.

_**Flashback**_

"_Boy I love when it snows." As Mikan twirled and twirled around._

"_Stop it you might get dizzy"_

"_I think you said it to late" as Mikan fell down_

"_Stupid."_

"_Hehehe."_

_Natsume sat down were Mikan was sitting. Helped Mikan to a sitting position. Brushed some hair that was in her face. Leaned towards her and started to kiss her slowly._

"_Smile, your video is going to be worth selling…again."_

_The two separated. It was Hotaru with her video cam and Ruka beside her blushing._

_Natsume frowned. "This isn't the first time you caught us."_

"_True, it's the 119 stolen video shots and both are selling like carzy" said Hotaru in a speaking manner of for-your-information-tone._

"_ehh..Oh Hotaru, aren't you tired of filming us. Hehehe" said Mikan in a small laugh._

"_Nope."_

"_Yes we are best friends." Mikan said with a small voice. _

_Ruka just smiled at Natsume and had an expression of "im sorry, she black mailed me"_

_Natsume just smiled. _

"_Well I think you guys better come in, you might catch a cold Mikan." Then Hotaru looked at natsume with deadly eyes that would make anyone run away. "She might catch a cold, Natsume."_

"_yeah, were coming in."_

_The two pair started to leave, while Ruka kept saying sorry._

"_Well we better start leaving or--"_

_She was cut of cause Natsume again kissed her. And she knew that, this were the moments she would never trade with someone else._

_After a long few minutes._

"_We better get in, or Hotaru is going to kick my butt.'_

_Mikan smiled._

"_umm… there is something that I want to give to you…"_

"_Really…"_

"_You know that I don't… I don't give things to doesn't mean that –"_

_She put her finger to Natsume's lips._

"_You don't have to say it…because I know you do." This time it was Mikan who kissed Natsume. _

"_I do love you Mikan."_

"_I know."_

'_Give me your hand."_

"_Huh?... Natsume why are you blushing…"_

"_Just give me your hand."_

_Mikan sensing he was serious gave her hand with a confuse look._

"_I know today is our 3rd anniversary… and its amazing that your still beside be… In a few months we would be graduating… and that would mean… I don't want to lose you so…" Natsume got something out from his pocket. Took it out from the small box and put it on her finger. "Will you wait for me…Mikan?"_

_Mikan who was overwhelmed by the confession could not help but smile with tears in her eyes._

"_Would you say something, I can't breathe properly you kno-"_

_She answered him with a kiss._

"_I'll wait for you."_

_**End of flashback.**_

She believed everything he said that night. She could not help but smile every morning when she would wake up. It was indeed great to have someone in your life.

But why did it have to change.

_**Flashback**_

"_Why Natsume?? What did I do wrong?"_

_Baka, can't you see, I thought I loved you but I was wrong. I finally realized that Ruka was just spending time with you and I felt jealous that he would no longer be my friend."_

"_Your lying!! Your never good at lying Natsume!"_

"_Whatever. Sure I had fun with you even though your so clumsy and forgetful. But now, I'm just bored. So get a life baka, cause your sure annoying me."_

"_baka! Baka! Baka! Your just going to throw away our 3 years –"_

"_Oh you mean its been 3 years?? Gosh I felt as if it was just a normal day with you. Like hell week"_

"…_I see…so it was nothing to you…everything was useless…"_

"_something like that"_

**_End of Flashback_**

She did not know she had run out of her dorm. All she knew she had to run and get fresh air. She ran and ran, until she realize she was at the their favorite Sakura tree spot.

She looked at it. What was it, that you gave up on us? What did I do for you to hurt me this way.

After he broke up with me, I felt as if the world turned upside down. I felt like I zombie through class. Everyone was worried. But whenever I would see him, my heart would start to hurt and I end up crying again. Even Hotaru got angry when she found out about what happened. Whenever she had a chance she would use her latest invention on Natsume and blast him away with her bazooka. I let her have her way. If that was what she felt then blast him off like new years or to kingdom come. I didn't care. All I knew was that when Natsume broke up with me, he stole my smile and joy from living. Until Ruka came over to talk to me.

He told me that what his best friend did to me was undisputable and he deserved to be beaten alive…

_**Flashback**_

"_But its not going to change anything Mikan."_

"_Ruka… I don't want to talk about this."_

"_no Mikan, he stole your smile!"_

"_Im smiling Ruka, everyday I do!"_

"_But your smile is not the same"_

_Tears where rolling down_

"_Can you blame me! I want this pain that im feeling to be taking away Ruka." She started to hug herself. "Take my pain away, then I can smile. I can't think anymore."_

_Ruka went beside her and hugged her tight._

"_I want to be happy..." Mikan just cried and cried._

_After a few moments._

"_Shhsshh, there now." Ruka lifted Mikan's head. "Who said falling in love was easy? Who said letting go, would take a day? Who said that when you fall in love you'll never get hurt? Loving someone has its consequence and that's getting hurt. When you fall in love your taking a gamble."_

_Mikan just looked at Ruka and hugged him more. No one knew that from a distance Natsume saw them and was boiling with jealousy._

"_No one is pushing you to be yourself right away… crying is ok… but to cry and make your life useless is not tolerable. That's when your friends start to take action. Show Natsume that he made a big mistake."_

_**End of flashback**_

After the talk, she had made a choice that after almost 2 month of sulking, it was time to start moving on. Day by day, she tried to go back to her normal self. She slowly started to smile, hang out and have fun. Slowly she started to date again. And for some reason, her dates went to the hospital for severe burns. I wonder why? is it just me…or is she naïve

But no mater how many times she had a great time with the people she hanged with at the end of the day it was still Natsume that filled her mind.

"Why…why Natsume?"

With that she ran away.

Am I always running away?

Am I always the one who is to be strong?

Am I always the one who is suppose to say everything is fine?

And as clumsy as she always was she tripped on a rock.

When she fell to the ground, that's when she remembered that she carried the ring.

From the time when Natsume gave her the ring she made sure never to take it out but when he broke up with her she put it on the silver necklace her grandpa gave her on her 18th birthday. She knew that Natsume was disappointed when he found out that she wasn't wearing the ring. But he didn't bother to ask. After that she took the necklace and put it inside her closest, so she'll forget about it. For a month she did and now…

"_Will you wait for me…Mikan?"_

Wait?

For how long?

She got up and brushed the dirt away, got the necklace and wore it. She went straight to her room. Slowly. In a few hours she would be living this school The academy were she learned a lot from, gain friends and enemies and most of all fell in love.

Everythings gonna change…

She opened her door and saw one person she had been thinking about and the one who broke her heart.

"N-n-natsume?"

"Mikan… I need to talk to you"

God why now?

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_Ok I said 2 chaps only, but I was listening to another song and it gave me an idea!!_

_Tell me how it is. Your reviews are important too. . The last chap would be really fluffy mode. Ok Im off to write the finale! this time it is really the ending.._


	3. Chapter 3: If Your Not the One

_A/N: here it is the final chap! hope you like it._

**Chapter 3:If Your Not the One **

_If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?_

_If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?_

_If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call_

_If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all_

"Natsume…what are you doing here?"

Natsume looked at the shock face of Mikan. Who wouldn't. both of them have been avoiding each other for a few months. But indeed Natsume… why are you here?

"I…" God I feel as if Im sitting on the hot seat. A simple question but a hard answer.

Why am I here?

"Natsume?"

I looked at her again. At this very moment I just wanted to hug her so badly. She was the only one he knew that in her arms he felt secured. He, the master of flames, felt secured in a clumsy girl…who he fell for.

"If there is nothing you want to say, I have to go to be—"

All she had to do was walk pass him and he gave up the temptation not to hug her. He missed her. He grabbed her left arm and then hugged her tightly.

Both of them were savoring the moment. Both of them missed each other.

He felt Mikan's shoulder shudder. He hugged her tightly.

Mikan did not know what was happening, she missed his embrace. She missed everything about him. But then…

"_I'm just bored. So get a life baka, cause your sure annoying me"_

Yes. She remembered now.

She let go of him. She knew that Natsume was here for a reason.

Its your turn Mikan…are you going to take the risk again? Are you willing to get hurt once more? To go through the pain once more? Its your call.

"Why are you here Natsume?"

Natsume turned around.

"Forget about it…"

His walking away again Mikan! Mikan! Your just going to allow this!! Grow up! Learn to fight for what you want, you did that for the academy, for your friends…why not with him.

"Your walking away again Natsume…?"

Natsume stopped.

"You always say that you never run from a battle…you're a liar! You can't even face this situation. The great flame master can't even end it."

Natsume turned around to face her. "Its better this way…"

Mikan started to get irritated. "Who said? I don't think so!"

"What do you want me to say!!"

"The truth!! Why are you running away! Why can't you stop and reach your finish line! Life isn't always a marathon race you know." Shouted Mikan

"The truth! You want the truth!" Natsume finally cracked. After all the frustration he had… he could not help himself.

_**Flashback**_

_Finally another mission finished. Time to go back. Natsume checked himself to see if there the enemy was able to hit him. Just a few scratches. Well that's enough for that twit not to go nurse mode on me. Natsume smiled. Too bad she wasn't waiting for him this time, she went with Mr. Narumi to see a doctor who would be able to guide them through a new project that the class would be doing. Which exhausted his Mikan. _

_His Mikan?_

_He waved the thought out. Funny though, because he knew that all the doctors in the compound turned out to be dodos… or was it just because he hated whenever he had to take shots. Oh well, time to go to bed. But first… he climbed up the stairs, turned left. Another stairway, turned right and entered a room. Mikan's room. _

_Good she's asleep._

_He closed the door. And went to go to his room. He cleaned up, changed his clothes, brushed his teeth and was ready to prepare to jump to the warm and comfortable voice… when he heard his name called._

"_Natsume" _

_The voice…the voice he hated so much._

_Persona._

"_What?! The mission is done, I want to go to bed."_

"_Leave her."_

_Ok that jerked him out of his sleepiness._

"_Mind your own affairs."_

" _Your affairs, are also mine. Leave her or your gong to end up hurting her instead." _

"_Ok thanks for the tip, im going to sleep now." Natsume took one step towards the bed and the next thing he knew, Persona was right in front of him._

"_You've changed greatly this past 3 years. Improving indeed, but your emotions are taking over. Your starting to smile and laugh more often and that cannot be."_

_True. What Persona did say was true. He too, noticed that he had been smiling and laughing whenever he was with Mikan. He became more careful whenever there would be missions. He made sure not to just jump in. He became more alertful. Why? Simple._

_Mikan._

_Ever since Mikan became his girlfriend, he made sure that he would be able to survive the next day._

"_What is it to you Persona?"_

"_You don't know what your getting into. Your forgetting the powers you have. Powers that when you use, your lifespan starts to shrink._

_Natsume went stiff._

"_Think about it Natsume, You guys are ok when inside the academy walls… what happens when you guys graduate?"_

"_I'll be protecting her!"_

"_Such a vigilant answer. Will you Natsume? When you will be the cause why she would be endangered."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Tsk tsk tsk…Natsume… you have forgotten about who you truly are. Because of the alice that you possesses. Everyday you put your friends and Mikan in danger because of your happiness. How about there happiness to live? Have you thought about it? You always living in danger? How about her? She'll continue worrying about you nonstop. The enemy may use her as bait. You will not be able to live normal…because from the very beginning you aren't."_

_What Persona was telling him was the truth._

_If Mikan stayed with him…she'll never be in peace or enjoy herself._

"_What ami suppose to do?" He didn't like what his feeling nor as tears were starting to come out from his eyes._

_Persona looked at him and smiled. "Leave her"_

_Leave her?? Mikan? The clumsy girl?"_

"_You know it…deep inside. Better now than its too late. You never know… you might be the cause of her death…"_

_With that he left. _

_He lowered his head. Went to his bed. And took a picture that was underneath his pillow. The only picture they both had. The picture that always made him smile. But this time… this time… looking at it would be the cause for the tears that fell from his eyes._

"_I love you, Mikan… im sorry…"_

_**End of flashback**_

"So that's why you decided to leave me…" Mikan asked with tears. "You were afraid that I would not be happy with you!"

"Persona was right! Everything he said was right. How can we be together when I will always be the reason for your discomfort, for endangering our friends life, your life!! I will always be part of the academy and will be working for them…and by doing that, my life is always at stake and so will yours. So Persona was right!"

"Baka! Baka! Baka! Baka!!! Your so stupid Natsume." This time Mikan didn't care for her tears. All she knew was that, Natsume was once again thinking of others and afraid to trust. Fearing that he'd lose her.

"Yeah that's what Persona said! That's what he thinks and feels." Mikan approached Natsume and pointed her finger towards Natsume's chest. "How about what you feel? What you think? You really want me to leave you? Do you want me to stay away from you! All your excuses is always what other people would think! How about you Natsume! Tell me what do you want! Tell me!!"

Natsume just looked down.

"You always say that your strong and everything is alright. Stop pretending Natsume! Its me Mikan. You don't have to put a mask when it comes to me."

Mikan made space between them.

_I never know what the future brings_

_But I know you are here with me now_

_We'll make it through_

_And I hope you are the one I share my life with_

_I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand_

_If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?_

_Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?_

"How long are you going to keep running away from what you really want? How long will it take you to listen and understand, that I don't care about what your past is or what kind of job you do."

"That's what everyone says in the beginning." This time Natsume Looked at her. "Everyone is happy in the begging… but I can't bear the thought…"

"What Natsume?? Bear what?"

Natsume didn't care anymore. "I don't know what I'll do if I would be the reason for your death!!!"

Silence.

So this was Natsume's fear. Mikan looked at Natsume and saw him crying.

"I don't know what I'll do to myself. I don't want to lose you" Natsume grabbed Mikan and hugged her.

"I love you so much that it hurts. You are the first person who saw through me. You were the one who made me smile often."

Both of them were crying.

"Everyone would agree to why I should leave you. Because I'm dangerous to be with. To love… but why is it that no matter I try to convince myself that what I decided was right… I still couldn't accept it."

Mikan was surprised by the confession.

"I can't seem to get you out of my system.

_If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?_

_If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?_

_If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?_

_If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?_

"I try to run away from you but no matter how far I run... I keep coming back. You don't know how much I want you to stay beside me…to wake up every morning to see you there, smiling."

Mikan could not help but feel touched by his confession.

"Natsume…" Mikan looked at his face. "Look at me." He looked slowly at her.

"From the time that I fell in love with you… I accepted you… everything about you. I don't care what Persona says…he might be right… but Im willing to be with you."

_I don't know why you're so far away_

_But I know that this much is true_

_We'll make it through_

_And I hope you are the one I share my life with_

_And I wish that you could be the one I die with_

_And I pray in you're the one I build my home with_

_I hope I love you all my life_

Natsume looked at her…wishing to believe what she was saying.

"But…what happens if…"

Mikan smiled at him.

"No one knows the future…when you decided to leave me…was it worth it? Did it make you feel happy? Did it solve all your problems?"

She looked at Natsume…please don't give up on us…

Natsume took her hand and held it.

"No… Everyday was torture to me. Every time I see you with other guys, I wanna grab you and keep you away from their eyes. I can't stand to see you with other guys." He took her other hand.

"I don't want to lose you…and Persona knows that you are my weakness… which you are…Loving you was the best things that happened in my life and I will never ever regret meeting you."

Mikan close her hand with his and took his hand and kissed his knuckles.

"I know that your worried about my safety…but trust me…Natsume… I'd rather spend my days in danger rather than live in sorrow… I don't know what the future is… but I know I would never regret. Sure there may be times I'll worry about you… what can I do… Im a girl. Girls worry. And if the day comes that you start to become weak, I'll be there to help you."

"What happens if I die…"

We both knew that it was an important question. I made sure that he looked straight in my eyes.

"If that time comes…then I'll cry… I'll be sad for god knows how long… but at least I knew you were right by my side."

"And if you were kidnapped or endanger?"

"Sure, I'll be scared…but I know that you'd come… you always come."

_I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand_

_If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am_

_Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?_

Natsume could not believe what he was hearing. He told Mikan the truth and here she was, still not giving up. All his life, he always thought that he was to be alone. That he'd die alone. But here is this girl, telling me not to give up. Mikan. He fell in love with her because of her honesty. She was the most honest and innocent girl he knew.

'so what are you going to do Natsume…are you going to take the risk and gamble?'

Mikan answered his question.

"I still love you Natsume."

Natsume gave up. Its time to give in.

"I love you Mikan."

With that Natsume lifted her head up and slowly kissed her…

How I missed her lips.

Both of them missed each other.

Mikan broke away from the kiss… " I told you I'll wait." She showed him the ring.

"I thought you threw it away?"

"You assumed it."

Natsume smiled at Mikan.

"Baka…" and started to kiss her again.

-----------

Outside the room was a group of people who woke up from the shouts they heard coming from the room of Mikan…but before they were able to see what was happening, Hotaru's invention was in the way.

Hotaru in her pajamas simply said

"Try disturbing them and I swear you'll regret it. Oh yeah, cross it and that would be 100 rabbits, no student discount"

With that she went back to her room.

"Good luck Mikan, you deserve to be happy."

-----------

Hours later…

Hey!!! Were finally done with school!! Yeah!!

Everyone was jumping for joy because they were done with high school, now its either they go to an alice college or start to work. It was time to make their own decision, to make their own future.

Not far from the celebration was a guy who was resting beneath a sakura tree, just observing what was going on.

So many things happened in this school, Natsume thought. Somehow he felt sad, but excited in what was in stored for him.

The future.

He knew that the decision he made was the right one. He saw Ruka wave at him, telling him to join the celebration.

Regret was something he would never want to mess with again.

"Natsume! Come on down! Join us!"

_I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand_

_If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am_

_Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?_

But even if he didn't know what the future holds for him…

"Natsume…come on, lets go with them"

He looked up and saw Mikan with her hands stretched out.

At least he knew that he'd be having someone by his side, who would never fail to smile.

"Yeah yeah yeah, im coming!"

Living without Sakura Mikan?

Its better off not breathing.

"Wait for me Natsume!" cried Mikan

"Hurry up polka dot panty face."

"my name is M-I-K-A-N"

"Polka dot panty face!!"

"I swear I don't even know why I gave you another chance?" shouted Mikan

"Who said? I gave you another chance? You cried baby!"

"Did noT!!! Natsume!"

Natsume just smiled. Indeed, having Mikan in his life would take the darkness from him and he didn't care what would happen in the future now that he knew Mikan was back in his life.

------------

_Well that's it! Hope you like it. Tell me your reaction. Thanks for all the reviews._


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